Friday, September 02, 2011

On The Road Again

On my way to work I spotted Lexis with the following bumper sticker:

“I'll Keep My Guns, My Freedom and My Money - You Keep The Change”

I propose the following to the woman who was driving the car:

Among the “changes” I would like to see is that you not continue to pollute MY planet with your filthy habit. So, in the future I would ask that you CHANGE your habit of throwing your cigarette butts out the window. Also, I would propose that you keep your windows rolled up when stopped at red lights. Perhaps YOU don’t mind the smell of cigarettes. I do. Keep your smoke from wafting into MY airspace.

I know your fancy, expensive car is the best on the road but you might find it helpful to ask your car dealer to install turn signals on your car. When the dealer completes that work, perhaps he can take a minute to explain how they work.

I noticed you have North Carolina license plates on your car. It may be helpful to understand your surroundings and your place within them. In North Carolina you are entitled to one lane on the highway. In North Carolina a red light means STOP. You stop and wait for the light to change. You don’t use it as an opportunity to reapply your lipstick. A green light means GO. You aren’t in Virginia.

You might want to prepare yourself for “change.” On a personal level, for you I have a feeling that “change” is going to mean a crumpled hood.

You want to keep your guns, money, and freedom, have fun with them now because you will probably wind up in traction some day, a victim of either your driving habits or your rude, self-serving attitude. Karma sucks!