Monday, November 20, 2006

Dear Percy Walker,

I am writing this in hopes that you can advise me. I think if I can pick the brain of someone as wealthy and successful as you I might be able to improve my lot in life.

I am horrible at investing. I’ve never had much money to invest and the few opportunities I have had didn't go well.

In the late 70’s my husband and I came into a little bit of money. We looked at all sorts of ways to invest it. My cousins wanted us to go in on a barbeque restaurant with them. We passed. THAT was a smart move. Then we got one of those, “Come stay with us for the weekend,” brochures. We went. We decided not to buy a condo. It was in a dumpy little town we thought would never amount to much.

Then we got a prospectus that looked really interesting. It was an up-and-coming venture, but we decided it was too risky. I don’t remember the name at the time but eventually it became this. Our children now hate us.

We put the money in a nice, safe CD.

Then we moved south. My husband said, “We need to go to South Carolina. One of my customers wants me to go in on a piece of land with him.” We went. “They could see you coming from a mile away. Sucker,” I said after viewing the property, which was swamp land. It is now a valuable little piece of dirt.

You can tell I’m not particularly savvy when it comes to financial matters. That’s why I’m counting on you for advice. I’m hoping that with your guidance, I too can become filthy and obscenely rich rather than just filthy and obscene. I promise to do good things with my money, giving much of it to charity.

Okay, so after all that history, my question is this: Should I go out and buy a Playstation III and stand in the parking lot at Toys ‘R Us on Christmas Eve to try to sell it at a profit?


Lousy investor


Anonymous Percy Walker said...

No! This may in part be due to my closer friendship with Bill Gates than with Sir Howard Stringer, but I've always preferred Xbox. The NYT isn't impressed with PS3, either.

November 20, 2006 5:30 PM  
Anonymous herb said...

I invest in education.

November 20, 2006 11:06 PM  
Anonymous Percy Walker said...

Also, I know for a fact that you make $1400 an hour. The time you would spend on this transaction would result in a loss to you of the value of 17 PS3s.

November 21, 2006 9:09 AM  

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