Why I love my job!

I have a drawer in my desk that is full of "stuff." I have lots of stuff that is for anyone to use. There is Tylenol. There is Motrin. I've got Ricola Throat Drops and Halls Mentho-Lyptus. You can find Band-Aids, and safety pins, and tampons. If you need hand sanitizer, it's in there. There is hand lotion, bobby pins, and dental floss. I thought of everything. Nearly.

There's always something someone needs that I don't have.

Person A, who shall remain unnamed: Do you have any Aloe?
Me: Aloe? No. Why?
A: I burned my forehead.
Me: How did you do that?
A: I was drinking tea.
Me: You were drinking tea?
A: Yes. And I burned my forehead. (A lifts up bangs to show a red spot about the size of a quarter on forehead, up high near the hairline.)
Me: Show me how you were drinking the tea.
(A pantomimes raising a mug to his/her lips. I'm trying not to indicate gender here. Oh, what the hell, you gotta know this was a male.)
A: I was just drinking some tea and it jumped out and burned me.
Me: It jumped?
A: Splashed out sort of. You don't have any Aloe?
Me: No.
A: What should I do?
Me: Hurt the rest of the afternoon. I think perhaps you deserve to.

Just when I think I've heard it all, someone surprises me.